There are a lot of situations in life that we find upsetting, scary, uncomfortable, distressing, or anxiety provoking, which means we have to display emotional courage and step outside our comfort zones to do what we know is right, despite our trepidations.
Unfortunately, our natural inclination in such moments is to avoid the issue or find excuses that allow us to gracefully – or sometimes even not-so-gracefully – exit the situations rather than showing the courage to tackle difficult hurdles and use those obstacles to improve and grow.
However, if we don’t muster up the courage to tackle these challenges, we let fear take control of our lives and let it hold us back from going after what we really want. Of course, being courageous isn’t always easy because it means that we choose to lay our vulnerability on the line and risk failure and rejection in order to pursue our greatest aspirations and create a meaningful life. But ultimately it will be so worth it.
Here are our TOP 10 tips to train the brave and grow your courage muscle.
#1 Expand Your Comfort Zone Gradually
Training the brave and building up your courage muscle isn’t something that magically happens over night. It’s a daily process and you are much more likely to be successful with it, if you focus on expanding your comfort zone one step at a time rather than leaving it completely all at once. Take baby steps and once you start to feel comfortable with those small steps, start to make them bigger and more frequently and gradually you will expand your comfort zone and grow your courage.
#2 Step Back and Get Objective
Most of the time, fear isn’t really about the worst case scenario we imagine, but rather about how we will feel if that scenario becomes true. So if you would make a mistake or fail, it isn’t the end of the world and you can go home and learn from the experience so you won’t make the same mistake twice. However, how you feel is a whole other story. You may feel ashamed, embarrassed, hopeless or a host of other uncomfortable feelings. If you want to give your courage a boost, try to take a step back and observe the situation objectively. Focus on the facts and pay attention to what actually happened, rather than the emotional meaning you attach to it.
#3 Take a Deep Breath
Reality is that our physical state has a tremendous impact on our emotional state. Slouch over and put a frown on your face for 10 seconds and then sit up straight and put a dazzling smile on your face for another 10 seconds. Do you notice a difference? One of the most effective ways to train your courage is to slow down your breath. Whenever we feel fear, unconsciously our breath becomes fast and shallow, so taking a couple of minutes to take a few deep, slow, rhythmic breaths sends a signal to our mind that everything is ok and helps us to calm down and relax and with that find our courage to move through the situation.
#4 Think of How You’d Perceive a Friend in the Same Situation
One of the biggest obstacles for our courage is that we tend to be much harder on ourselves than on other people. So next time when you are faced with a challenging situation that asks for an opportunity to show courage, ask yourself how you would perceive your best friend in the same situation. Would you focus on potential pitfalls or would you admire them for being a risk taker. Considering how we’d perceive other people in the same exact situation allows us to reset the stories we are telling ourselves and boosts courage and self-trust.
#5 Be Honest About the Cost of Inaction
We tend to forget that inaction is hugely costly. Research shows that we do this because reality isn’t pretty and with that we tell ourselves that everything is fine when in fact it’s anything but and in the meantime life is moving on in a direction that is far from the life we want. Acknowledging that we are stuck or not happy with the situation we are in is an act of courage in and of itself. Think about how you will feel about yourself if you do nothing and remember, if you change nothing, nothing changes.
#6 Engage Your Cognition
Fear produces chemicals in our brain that makes us stop pursuing our goals and dreams. So a great way to take back our brain from the chemicals that are flooding it, is to engage our prefrontal cortex – the area of the brain that is associated with reasoning – in something completely different. Find emotionally neutral activities such as bookkeeping, solving crossword puzzles or learning vocabulary and you will be able to temper the emotional storm and find your courage.
#7 Create Accountability
Keep in mind, you don’t have to do everything on your own. Hire a mentor or coach, enlist a support team and recruit an accountability partner. Surround yourself with people who are just as committed to embracing courage as you are and who are willing to get on your case when you start to veer off the path you’ve choose. Ask at least one person to hold you accountable for training your courage muscle and set up weekly meetings or phone calls to stay on track.
#8 Find Role Models
Using role models is incredibly powerful for just about anything you want to become. When you are trying to stretch yourself beyond your perceived limits and be more courageous, there is always a part of you that wonders whether or not it can actually be done. Having a role model is a constant reminder that the answer to that question is a resounding YES. Channel your role model until you can channel yourself.
#9 Meditate
Meditation can have a huge impact on our brain function – even if you only meditate for a few minutes – and it can make all the difference when it comes to training your courage. Make it a habit to meditate for at least five minutes every day and if this is too challenging for you, simply stop for a few moments and focus on your breath, because filling your brain with oxygen will help to drive out fear and find your courage.
#10 Take Action
Whenever we feel low on courage, it’s very tempting to procrastinate or contemplate how to find the courage and motivation to do what needs to be done. However, if you are waiting to feel courageous before you take action, you can wake a long time and the longer you wait, the less courage you will feel. The only way out is to actually get up and take action, even if you are afraid and once you get going, courage will show up.
Achieving anything worthwhile takes a lot of hard work and a thousand small brave steps. But keep in mind, courage is like a muscle and the more you train it, the stronger it becomes. As you start to take action, you will discover that you are capable of so much more than you thought and a whole new world of possibilities will open up for you.
PUT FEAR IN ITS PLACE AND BUILD UP YOUR COURAGE
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked