These days, everything has to happen in an instant, but this instant gratification society we live in makes it much more likely that we are impatient in all aspects of our lives and the slightest delay feels like a world of inconvenience.
However, if we can develop and nurture patience and combine it with wisdom, we set ourselves up for happiness, success and living a much more calm and well-rounded life, because we cultivate a feeling of inner strength and balance that provides us with the mental-emotional endurance to focus on our priorities and goals.
Patience is the ability to tolerate waiting or delay without becoming frustrated, upset or agitated. It’s the ability to control our impulses and emotions to proceed with a calm state of mind in the face of difficulties.
Needless to say, patience doesn’t come easily to most of us and in a world of readily available products, services and information, we can practically consume anything we want almost instantaneously. But if we want to reach our goals, have meaningful relationships and want to achieve personal growth, we need to develop patience, because anything of importance and worthwhile cannot happen right away. It takes dedication, effort and time to achieve, so even in our world of instant gratification, patience is a virtue.
Here are our TOP 10 tips on how to develop patience.
#1 Slow Down
We tend to urgently rush through our day with a frantic state of mind, so a key element to developing patience is to literally slow down. Make it a point to actually stop before taking action and take a few deep, slow, rhythmic breaths before you make a move. A great practice to develop patience is to make the conscious decision to stay calm when you are stuck in traffic or stand in a long line at the grocery store. Keep in mind, getting frustrated and impatient won’t move you any faster, so surrender to the situation, meditate, observe people, take in your surroundings and practice mindfulness. You will begin to see things more clearly and from several perspectives and with that you start to cultivate patience.
#2 Read
Believe it or not, reading requires a lot of patience and a lot of people give up on books because they are too impatient to get through the whole book and simply skip to the last page. However, no matter how long it takes you to finish a book, if you can endure the time to complete reading it, you will achieve a much greater sense of patience. You might say you don’t have the time to sit down and read for hours and we understand that, but start by reading just ten pages a day, even if it’s sporadically, spread out over several weeks, once you finish the book, you will have improved your patience dramatically.
#3 Journal
Taking the time to write down your emotions, feelings, thoughts and experiences in a daily journal does wonders to your patience and at the same time helps you to become more reflective and observe yourself more objectively. Reflect on how your day unfolded. This time of journaling and self-reflection will allow you to learn from yourself, you understand how you respond in various situations and you can make adjustments to improve in the future to be more patient.
#4 Practice Compassion
It’s easy to get impatient with people when they say or do something that doesn’t meet our expectations. This can create a lot of tension in any relationship, whether that’s in your personal or professional life and it’s most of the time because we are too focused on ourselves and our own needs and wants and lack compassion for the other person. Take the time to consider the other person’s perspective and what they have been going through. Maybe they had a horrible day or maybe they didn’t completely understand what it is that you wanted from them. Not matter what it is, show some compassion and you will be able to let go of any tension that may have built up and you allow yourself to be more understanding and patient in this moment.
#5 Practice Gratitude
We all know that gratitude has a plethora of benefits from making us happier and more optimistic to reducing our stress levels. But a recent study revealed it can also help us to cultivate patience. Practicing gratitude – and we mean really getting into the feeling of it – can foster self-control and with that reduce impatience and open up tremendous possibilities to stop acting on impulse like instant gratification shopping trips or obsessive eating. Make it a point to be grateful every day and you can cure the need for instant gratification.
#6 Make Yourself Wait
Seeking instant gratification tends to make us feel good, but psychology research shows that if we can manage to wait we are actually a lot happier in the long run. So whenever you are overcome by impulse and want something right this very second, apply the ten second rule and make yourself stop, take a breath and consider your options. Is this the right choice for you? Believe it or not, ten seconds is often enough to get you back on track. And then extend that time period. Wait for ten minutes before you actually eat the brownie. Wait until the weekend to watch your favorite show. The more you practice delayed gratification, the more patient you will be in the most irritating situations and at the same time you reap the benefit of being happier.
#7 Cook from Scratch
When you order take-out and you have to wait a couple of minutes, you get impatient. The solution is simple, start cooking from scratch, you will practice patience and live healthier at the same time. Cooking from scratch requires a lot of patience, but the more you cook, the more you nurture your patience and additionally you get a great sense of accomplishment. Learn this important skill to take care of yourself and impress friends and family with an amazing dinner party.
#8 Take Up Gardening
Growing your own vegetables, flowers and plants takes a lot of patience. There is no point in rushing it, because nature will take however time it needs to develop fully and besides cultivating a sense of patience, gardening gives you a great sense of peace and makes you feel better emotionally and mentally. Now living in New York City ourselves, we are well aware that gardening may not be an option in your house, but consider joining a community garden to get the same benefits.
#9 Take the Other Side’s Perspective
Developing patience with others is a great way to cultivate meaningful relationships. Whenever you feel like you are about to blow up into someone else’s face, look at the situation from the other person’s perspective. Flaring up with impatience isn’t getting you anywhere and will only end up in a fight, but if you take a few moments to reflect on the situation and see it from the other side’s perspective you can calm yourself down and avoid an unnecessary discussion. You don’t have to agree, but you have to respect another person’s opinion. Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and you will be able to develop patience for that person.
#10 Avoid Using Patience as an Excuse
I think we can all agree that patience is a virtue, but as with everything else, it all depends on how we use it. A lot of people use patience as an excuse to procrastinate and try to reach perfection. But this isn’t patience, this is simply a bad excuse to sabotage your progress on your journey to achieving your goals. Yes, patience is important when it comes to reaching our goals and dreams and it is necessary to be patient and take a step back to clarify a situation and find the right solution to move forward in the best possible way. But if you let patience become procrastination, then you’re simply fooling yourself. Use patience for gaining clarity, for making the most out of opportunities and to self-reflect, but avoid using patience as an excuse at all cost.
To be successful, we have to learn to be patient as some things simply cannot be rushed if we want to avoid poor decisions and mistakes. While our instant gratification culture programmed us to look for quick fixes and shortcuts to get to our desired outcome, success typically comes to those who mastered the art of patience. We need patience, passion, diligence and purpose, a long-term commitment and a dedication to follow through to be able to face challenges along the way and reach our ultimate goal.
STAY CALM UNDER PRESSURE
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked
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