Inadequacy – the feeling of not being good enough – is unfortunately experienced by everyone at some point or another. It is so easy to slip into the feeling of low self-worth, powerlessness or incompetence when something goes wrong, another person succeeds or somebody pushes our ‘inadequacy button’.
For many, feelings of inadequacy are deeply rooted in childhood experiences, but workplace harassment or bullying in adulthood can easily put a damper on our self-confidence and raise doubt of our own abilities and worth. And let’s not forget that feelings of inadequacy can be triggered or worsened by media messages that promote impossible standards for beauty, success, strength, power, and fame.
Feeling inadequate or insecure is part of our human experience and there will always be someone who is more successful, better looking and richer, just like there will always be someone who is less well off and uglier than you. While you can focus on those who are better off than you or focus on those who aren’t as well off as you, our advice is to do neither and instead focus on yourself.
Here are our TOP 10 tips to stop feeling inadequate and enjoy the journey of life.
#1 Focus on Your Strengths
Whenever feelings of inadequacy come up, think about what you have achieved so far that you are truly proud of and what makes you stand out from others. Bring your focus on your strengths, talents, skills, and abilities and celebrate your wins and your uniqueness. Believe in yourself, believe in your potential and when you have something that you want to improve upon, acknowledge your weakness without magnifying it and then work on improving it.
#2 Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse about yourself because you evaluate another person through the filter of your feelings of inadequacies and insecurities. But the reality may be completely different. Most likely you focus on your weaknesses rather than your strengths and uniqueness and when you aren’t feeling particularly confident about yourself, you will always fall short in a comparison with another person. Forget everybody else, focus on yourself, do the best you can and enjoy the ride.
#3 Re-Evalute Your Beliefs
While feelings of inadequacy can come up through a remark of another person, only you have the power to choose what you believe about yourself. Re-evaluate your thoughts and beliefs and eliminate negative self-talk. Instead choose to believe that you are wonderful, smart, funny, successful, interesting, compassionate, loving… You cannot change how another person thinks about you, but you can most certainly change how you think about yourself and that’s the most important thing in developing higher self-worth.
#4 Give Yourself a Rest
Whether it’s mainstream or social media, the message is usually to be your very best all the time. Media messages give the impression that we have to have it all together and should push ourselves to be our best at all times, but this way we only subtly tell ourselves that simply being who we are is insufficient. However, it is extremely important to allow yourself to give yourself a rest and not push yourself all the time. It’s more than enough to just be your self and enjoy the moment.
#5 Let Go of Perfection
Perfection is an illusion and as human beings we are designed to make mistakes and have imperfections. It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to make a mistake, it’s okay to not be perfect. Don’t beat yourself up when something doesn’t work out as planned, take it as an opportunity to learn and grow and stop the madness of chasing perfection that is never achievable. Allow yourself to be human and don’t define yourself by your mistakes.
#6 Think ‘Wabi-Sabi’
No, we are not talking about the green stuff you eat with your sushi, but rather a Japanese aesthetic, that defines beauty as imperfections. Celebrate the marks of time and embrace your imperfections because they make you uniquely you and wonderful. Use your imperfections as a spark of introspection that motivates you to change and grow.
#7 Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable
Yes, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable isn’t always easy, but hiding from our true self is even more difficult and will ultimately only harm ourselves. Embrace and accept all aspects of yourself – flaws and all and with that you unlock the possibility of letting go and living a life full of unlimited happiness. Life is too short to try to be neurotically perfect. Embrace your imperfections, celebrate your uniqueness and allow yourself to be vulnerable. This will give you incredible freedom and allows you to let go of feelings of inadequacy.
#8 Journal
Journaling is extremely powerful and helps you to learn and grow and find the simple lessons. Take a few moments every single day to write down all your emotions, feelings and thoughts and reflect on them a few days later. Be honest and nonjudgmental when you journal and allow it to be a true reflection of your thoughts and feelings, only then can you release negative emotions and feelings and find the opportunity for growth.
#9 Talk to Someone
Whenever you feel inadequate and can’t quite shake the feeling, talk to someone you trust who is positive and will give you good advice. Make sure to not choose a person who is a downer or negative, because they will only exacerbate your inadequacy feelings, but find someone who can uplift you and honestly tell you the truth. Remember, it is never a sign of weakness to ask someone for help, but rather a tremendous sign of strength.
#10 Add ‘Yet’
Many believe that their current skills and qualities are static and unchangeable, however, every talent can be developed and achieved if you set your mind to it and put in the work. If you add ‘yet’ to your vocabulary, you imply that eventual success is possible and in the meantime you focus on effort, perseverance, resilience and strategy. You may not have your dream job, yet, you may not have lost the 10 pounds, yet, you may not be able to sustain a meditation practice, yet, but you believe that you can improve and make all those things a reality and with that you aren’t being stuck with the cards you were dealt with but rather can do anything you set your mind to.
Keep our above tips in mind next time feelings of inadequacy creep in and want to challenge your self-worth. Look for the positive in every negative situation, remember that it’s okay to have a bad day and always strive to see the best in yourself.
PULL YOURSELF OUT OF A SEA OF SELF-DOUBT
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked
Like!! Thank you for publishing this awesome article.