Self-doubt is our natural response to all the challenges life throws at us: I’m not good enough. I can’t do it. It’s a waste of time. I’ll never get there…
This negative voice inside our heads acts up when we are faced with challenges to prevent us from making a mistake and fail and while this is a useful mechanism in life-or-death situations, it’s quite the opposite when we are pondering talking to our boss about a promotion or signing up for that 5K race we’ve been training for.
We all have times in our lives when we feel inadequate, even the most successful people do. The question is, how can we move on from focusing on the negative and turn things around so that we don’t stand in our own way of reaching our goals and dreams?
If we allow self-doubt to take over, we prevent ourselves from grabbing opportunities that come our way and we fall prey to self-sabotage. Sure, it is sometimes useful to take a step back and look at our current limitations and figure out how to overcome them or spot a bad idea and switch direction, but generally speaking self-doubt holds us back in life.
Here are our TOP 10 tips to defeat self-doubt and direct our energy towards a more productive way of thinking to move forward.
#1 Raise Your Self-Awareness
Raising our self-awareness is one of the most powerful personal development tools we have available. Make use of it and get to the bottom of your self-doubt. What triggers it? Is it a deep-rooted self-doubt that has been implanted in us from childhood? Is it certain situations that bring it up? Is it actually lack of skill that is within your power to improve? Find the source of your self-doubt because remember, knowledge is power and once you know what causes your self-doubt, you can do something about it. There is a wealth of information available every second of the day, use it to your advantage to overcome self-doubt.
#2 Practice Self-Compassion
It’s always so much easier to show compassion to others, but unfortunately very few people have mastered the art of self-compassion and are their own worst critic. Be kind to yourself, because the more compassion you show yourself, the more you can reduce stress and anxiety, improve your self-esteem and achieve greater life-satisfaction. Whenever a bout of self-doubt is about to take control of your life, show yourself some compassion. It helps you to develop emotional resilience and remember that imperfections are part of our human experience.
#3 Stop Seeking Outside Validation
While it is very helpful to seek advice or input from other people, if you get into the habit of continuously asking others what they think before you make an important decision, you weaken trust and faith in yourself. Whenever you start a new project, whether that’s launching a new website or a new business and you keep changing your vision based on the feedback you receive, you will lose your own voice and your vision becomes diluted. Take advice from others, but at some point you have to make a decision that feels right for you and let go of seeking outside validation.
#4 Beware of Your Social Circle
We all know the saying that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with and while there is not yet a scientific study to support this claim, there is certainly truth to it. The people we surround ourselves with can have a profound effect on us whether we are aware of it or not. Brain plasticity research shows that our experiences shape the neural pathways in our brain and the people we spend the most time with shape most of our experiences, so be very aware of your social circle and make sure it is positive, encouraging and supportive, helping you to overcome self-doubt rather than feeding it.
#5 Become Present
When we overthink, self-doubt is the unwanted consequence. However, if we can manage to focus on the present moment rather than ruminating in the past or worrying about the future, we give our mind the chance to achieve much needed clarity and with that we can refocus and push forward. A simple way to get into the present moment is to sit down for a few minutes and focus on your breath or listen to a guided meditation. This will give you a fresh, new perspective that will allow you to tackle any doubts that you may have.
#6 Set Immediate Goals
Besides setting ambitious, long-term goals, it is important to establish several short-term ones that are attainable in the near future. Big goals usually take time to realize so when they don’t immediately materialize, it’s easy for doubt to creep in. But when you set immediate, smaller goals that you can achieve along the way to reaching your ultimate goal, you can constantly celebrate wins and build up your confidence while eliminating self-doubt.
#7 Distract Yourself
It is easy to get caught up in a bout of self-doubt and if we don’t pay attention, this negative thinking can spread to all areas of our lives. Whenever you feel self-doubt creeping up, distract yourself immediately and break this self-sabotaging mental loop by taking a walk in the park, calling a friend, moving on to a different project or going to the gym and work it out physically. Experiment with different distraction techniques and find the one that works best for you before letting self-doubt consume you.
#8 Sharpen Your Skills
If you tend to be overcome by self-doubt when you have to give a presentation at work for example, do your homework and sharpen your skills. Practice your presentation in front of a mirror or friend, video tape your presentation and watch videos of successful speakers you admire. Learn from them and emulate their speaking and presentation skills, make sure you are thoroughly prepared and know the answers to possible questions and get constructive feedback from a trusted person. The more prepared you are, the more competent, confident and relaxed you will feel. Apply this to any situation that makes you doubt yourself and make sure to hone your skills and do your homework.
#9 Get a Boost of Optimism
A quick and easy way to boost your confidence when self-doubt is about to take over your life, is to let someone else’s motivation, enthusiasm and constructive optimism inspire you. Spend 20 to 30 minutes with a motivational podcast, an inspiring audio book or an actual physical book and you will be able to shift your self-doubt into a more positive outlook and constructive thinking about any challenge you might be dealing with. It’s an instant pick-me-up.
#10 Keep a Journal
Journaling is a beneficial habit for a lot of reasons, but when it comes to self-doubt, it can help us to keep a realistic record of our lives and gain clarity more easily. Keep in mind, when you record everything that is happening in your life, you can always go back to remind yourself of all the successes, achievements and positive things that you experienced and if you are more prone to remembering negative things, your journal will help you to remember how you have overcome certain obstacles and challenges. On the other hand, journaling is an incredibly helpful tool to overcome self-doubt by gaining clarity of an issue you are dealing with. Rather than overthinking it in your head, take a piece of paper and make a list of all the pros and cons, write down different perspectives and go through your emotions, feelings and thoughts of similar events in the past. You will see your challenge a lot more clear and level-headed and will find the solution.
At some point or another, everyone finds themselves experiencing self-doubt, it is part of being human. However, people who let self-doubt control their life, never move forward or grow, whether that’s personally or professionally. It’s important to remember that the more you push yourself to overcome self-doubt, the more you will realize what you are actually capable of. Over time you will be able to let go of self-doubt or use it to challenge your current limitations to achieve greatness.
DON’T LET SELF-DOUBT DERAIL YOU. CONQUER IT AND BECOME MORE CONFIDENT, HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL.
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked
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