Letting go of the past can be challenging, whether it’s a mistake we’ve made, an argument we’ve had, frustrations about things not progressing fast enough, anger about something someone did to us, bad habits, ideas, emotions or relationships.
What if we could just let the past be in the past, unburden ourselves and be present with this very moment? Every single day offers an opportunity to move on from our past and start fresh. However, while we understand intellectually that this would be the best thing for us in order to live a happy, healthy and successful life, it is very difficult in reality.
We all get stuck in a cycle of anger and sadness from time to time and look back while missing out on the present moment. But it is possible to be free of the past to unlock the full, joyful, unbridled, successful expression of you with the right tools and strategies.
Here are our TOP 10 steps to help you let go of the past.
#1 Understand Your Past
In order to let go of your past, you first have to take a good hard look at your past as an impartial observer. It is important to note that you are not your past. Recognize that the circumstances and people of your past have created certain experiences, but they have not created you. Learn from your past experiences and understand how those past experiences have shaped a behavioral and emotional pattern that you took on. Once you have a better understanding you will be able to break the cycle of these patterns and move on into the present moment.
#2 Decide That It’s Time to Move On
If you want to break free of your past, you have to make a conscious decision to let it go and move on. Making this decision to let go of the past may be the most difficult step in the process of letting go, but it is also one of the most important steps. You own your past, you can do with it whatever you want and when you realize that holding on to your past is only hurting you and preventing you from a bright future, you will realize that it is the only smart decision to make.
#3 Acknowledge Your Emotions and Feelings
Emotions and feelings are there for a reason. They inform us and are important messages from our inner self to do something about a certain situation. Acknowledge your emotions and feelings, listen to the messages they carry, learn the lesson that come with the emotions and feelings and then let it go and move on with your life. When we are heartbroken, stressed, anxious, panicky, angry or depressed, our emotions and feelings tell us to do something about this uncomfortable situation. Stop avoiding your emotions and feelings and you will be able to move forward into a wiser, better future.
#4 Let Go of Anger
When we feel like someone has wronged us or treated us unfairly or has been unjust to us or someone we deeply care about, we feel anger. The problem with anger is that if we hold on to it for too long, it will fill us up with resentment, which is extremely toxic and will keep us anchored in the past. Realize that anger hurts us way more than it hurts those who have wronged us. For some of us letting go of anger can be very physical like punching a pillow or going on the roof and screaming at the top of our lungs. For others, processing anger can be a lot quieter and achieved through mindfulness practices or meditation. Whatever option works best for you – you may also try to work through anger with a therapist or coach – leave your anger behind so you can move on to a freer, fresher life.
#5 Let Go of Guilt
Anger is the feeling we have towards others that we perceive have mistreated us. Guilt is the feeling when we feel like we have done something wrong and gone against our own ethical code or conscience. Like all our emotions and feelings, guilt is there to give us a message. Listen to the message, learn from it and then break free from it so you can move forward in a kinder, wiser fashion.
#6 Live in the Present
We’ve all heard the saying before… The past is history, the future is a mystery, this very moment is a gift, that’s why we call it the present. Live in the present moment and enjoy the life that you are living right now. The past is done, there is no going back, the future is not here, yet, so enjoy this present moment and make the most of it. Live right here, right now, it’s the answer to letting go of the past.
#7 Realize that Memories Are Not the Problem
It is important to understand that memories are simply thoughts about the past and a thought has no power whatsoever unless you give it meaning or power. The thoughts you have about something that happened a long time ago don’t cause any problems until you repeat them over and over again and have an emotional reaction to them. If you want to free yourself of the past you have to lose interest in those thoughts, know that they don’t serve you and will only prevent you from breaking free of your past. We know that letting go of these thoughts isn’t always easy, but whenever you catch yourself repeating the same thought, stop and replace it with a completely different thought because you can never have two thoughts at the same time and every time you replace a thought, it loses power until it disappears.
#8 Help Others
Whenever you find yourself being stuck ruminating about past hurts or you worry about the future, take a step back and do something for someone else. Help out in a soup kitchen, donate some time to a nursing home, mentor students, clean up parks… the possibilities are endless. It can also be something as simple as holding the door open for a stranger or smiling at someone you pass on the street. Helping others can make us feel better, gives us a new perspective on our own situation and helps us to refocus on what’s truly important in our life and recognize the positive that’s already there.
#9 Believe in Yourself
We all have painful experiences as part of our life, but if you believe in yourself, you develop a positive energy around you that will help you to overcome those painful experiences a lot quicker. The power of believing in yourself will help to overshadow bad memories and mistakes that have haunted you for so long and you will be able to forget the past and move into a brighter future.
#10 Forgiveness Is Key
The most important step in letting go of the past and key to a more meaningful, balanced and peaceful future is forgiveness. To forgive ourselves as well as others for what happened in the past is the answer to be able to move on with our lives. Forgiveness isn’t about benefitting those who have wronged us, but it is really about us and the only way to be able to move on and start with a clean slate. Forgiveness erases the guilt and anger from the past and opens the door to choose our own destiny in the future.
We all have a past. It is part of who we are and shaped us into the person we are today. Our past can be very helpful because it is here to inform us and instruct us, but it shouldn’t have the power to define us. While sometimes certain aspects of our past can weigh heavily on us and hold us back from living a freer, happier, more successful life, it is possible to let go of the past and choose the person we want to become.
YOUR LIFE MATTERS. LET GO OF THE PAST AND APPRECIATE THE PRESENT.
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked
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