True confidence isn’t a quality you just wake up with one day and it isn’t necessarily something that you are born with either. True confidence is built over time and something that we have to work on constantly, but it is also a quality that is a game-changer, just like courage, empathy and rapport.
When we are trying to be confident, we already failed. When we act more confident, we are pretending and when we tell someone to be more confident, it’s like we are telling someone to be taller. True confidence is something that goes way beyond a ‘fake it ’til you make it’ mentality.
True confidence is more grounded, more authentic and more holistic. While confidence is infectious and can inspire confidence in others, true confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that is grounded in an authentic experience of our own sufficiency, ability and perspective. It’s a stable knowledge that we can do what we want to do, feel what we want to feel and be who we want to be.
Here are our TOP 10 tips to build true confidence.
#1 Take a Stance
While conceited, cocky people take a position and proclaim it, knowing that they are right and needing you to know it, too, truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. If you are truly confident, finding out the truth is more important than being right. So while it is important to have an opinion and take a stance, true confidence also means that you are secure enough to graciously back down when it turns out that you were wrong.
#2 Listen More Than You Speak
True confidence is quiet and unassuming. You know what you think, but it’s more important to you to find out what others think than to have to brag about your own thoughts. This means truly confident people ask open-ended questions so that other people have the freedom to give a thoughtful answer. If you are truly confident you realize that you know a lot, but you are always looking to know more. That’s why you listen more than you speak… to learn more.
#3 Shine the Spotlight on Others
Maybe you did the bulk of the work and maybe it was you who really did overcome all the obstacles, but if you are truly confident, you don’t care. As someone who is truly confident, you know on the inside what you did and are proud of it, but you don’t need all the glory. With that, truly confident people stand back and let others shine because true validation comes from within and you don’t need the spotlight yourself. But if you let others shine, you give them a big boost of confidence so they can become truly confident, too.
#4 Ask for Help Freely
A lot of people consider asking for help a sign of weakness, because it means that we lack of experience, knowledge or skill. But if you are truly confident, you are secure enough to admit to your weaknesses, so asking for help is the way to go. You are secure enough to know that asking for help is actually a sign of true strength and the ability to admit to your weaknesses, trying to improve on them. On top of that, asking someone for help is a tremendous sign of respect for the other person’s judgment and expertise.
#5 Own Your Mistakes
Confidence breeds honesty and sincerely, which is why truly confident people admit to their mistakes and own them. They use their mistakes as cautionary tales and don’t mind to occasionally look bad, because they realize that they are unpretentious and genuine and know the important lessons that can be found in mistakes that can make them wiser and more experienced.
#6 Don’t Pass Judgment
If you are truly confident, you know that everybody has something to offer, so you don’t feel the need to pass judgment or take another person down a notch to feel better about yourself. Keep in mind, comparing ourselves to others is very limiting. Truly confident people don’t waste their time on sizing people up or worrying about whether or not they measure up to everybody they encounter because they know their own worth and are confident in their own expertise, knowledge and skill.
#7 Believe You Are an Original
Nobody in this big, wide world is like you and we all have our unique abilities and gifts to fulfill our purpose. As a truly confident person you know what your strengths and positive qualities are and you believe that you are an original that stands out from other people. However, you don’t have to brag about it or shout it from the roof tops. You simply know within yourself and use it as your source of confidence.
#8 Seek Out Small Victories
Truly confident people tend to compete and challenge themselves on a regular basis, even if their efforts only yield small victories. However, as a truly confident person you know that even the smallest of victories builds new androgen receptors in the area of your brain that is responsible for motivation and reward. This increase in androgen receptors in turn increases testosterone, which further increases your confidence and your eagerness to find new challenges in the future. So seek out small victories to boost your confidence over and over again.
#9 Exercise
A recent study out of Canada showed that people who exercise on a regular basis feel more confident and competent athletically, socially and academically. They also have higher self-esteem and body image, but best of all, they know that the immediate endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise makes all the difference in their confidence levels. So make exercising a priority and your confidence will stay up for times to come.
#10 Take an Honest Look at Yourself
True confidence is firmly rooted in reality, which is why it is so important for truly confident people to take an honest look at themselves and make an accurate self-assessment of their abilities, knowledge and strength. If there are weaknesses in your skill set, you make a plan for strengthening your skills and you always find a way to minimize their negative impact. But more importantly, truly confident people have a clear understanding of their strengths and can shake off groundless criticism to stay confident.
True confidence matters because it amplifies success and quality of life and it protects us physically, mentally and emotionally. Keep in mind, true confidence has nothing to do with bravado or swagger. True confidence is quiet and a natural expression of self-regard, ability and expertise.
REMOVE LINGERING SELF-DOUBT
Joschi & Monika
#BoldNaked